I'll miss you 2013

What a busy year that was filled with many changes and challenges.  Our biggest change was our move to Alabama in July.  It signified more than our typical military move, this move is the start of a new chapter in our lives.  We PCSed from Ft Leonard Wood Missouri.  It was the most difficult assignment we have encountered.  Normally, I find pride in my ability to make anyplace fun; however, the entire family didn't adapt well during the two years we were in MO.   I had to accept that some things don't change no matter how badly we want them to and things I wanted to stay the same, like our wonderful friends and neighbors, do change (and move).  I guess I learned to look for the positive. When we received our orders for Redstone Arsenal we were thrilled.  This was a place we always wanted to live.  We carefully chose a house to purchase in a school district we loved because we plan on staying until the girls graduate.  Gene is still in the Army but his retirement is coming up in about two years and we are looking forward to being settled.  It has been six months in our home and we still love it.

I found a new level of comfort and excitement with my art.  I embraced  painting and it has gone so well.  People seem to really enjoy my art work and the creative process calms my soul.  The rest of the time, well, I have been so disorganized (which is not like me).  That will change in 2014.

The girls have done well in their new schools.  Greta had her usual adjustment period but is doing great.  She enjoys singing lessons and made the choir at her school.  One of her biggest joys is living in a subdivision with a pool.  This kid is a fish and loves to swim laps just for fun.  This upcoming summer she is going to try out for a swim team.  It is exciting to live someplace that has these opportunities.  Gigi has continued with piano and continues to excel in academics.  If I just had a tiny bit of her smarts.  It is so fun watching her become her own young lady.  One of the biggest changes I have seen is her decision to step back from competitive softball.  Gigi still loves to play  but wants to play at a recreational level.  She has decided to focus on music and academics and is considering martial arts.  I have a tough time stepping back but at least Greta still holds my hand to cross the street. 

Gene enjoys his new position at work.  It is a secret so I don't  know much about what he does all day but I do know that he comes home with a sense of satisfaction.  He has the biggest changes to anticipate.  When I refer to our retirement I really mean that Gene will be retiring from the Army.  It will be a big change for him to not be a soldier and a big change for us to not be a military family.

I can't forget the pets.  They are such a big part of our lives.  We lost our sweet border collie Friday in April 2013 due to a seizure disorder.  That was heartbreaking but it also opened our hearts to adopting Maizy May Flower, a super shy Corgi/Sheba Inu mix.  May loves four people and gosh, we love her back.  Then after we got settled in Alabama we adopted August Blue.  He is an Australian Shepherd/Basset Hound mix and a bundle of energy.  I can't even begin to count the number of funny things he has done... or chewed.  Well, that's not true, I have a hard time forgetting all the costly things he has chewed up.  ha ha  Bandit is still hanging in there, despite all the changes.  He continues to follow around his favorite person, Greta.

So, here's to 2013.  It was good year with so many changes and challenges.  Welcome 2014, I am looking forward to the joys you will bring.  This year will be about living with purpose and finding our place.

How to manage time...

There are so many things I want to try to create.  Some are completely full of artistic freedom... I have a stack of canvases sitting beside my painting table just waiting for the ideas to be put into color.  I'm not running short of ideas.  I have a sermon journal/sketchbook full. I also have sewing orders that need to be completed as fast as my little arthritic fingers can move.



Can you hear them calling my name?

Then I look at blogs like this one and I am inspired at Lisa Leonard's http://www.lisaleonardonline.com/blog/diy/diy-dishtowels time management skills.  She has a successful jewelry business, looks adorable, and continues to create for her personal space.  Plus, she has a family who she talks about and the challenges that come with her story.  How does she do it?  I wonder if she feels totally frazzled in real life but pulls it all together for the blog.  I want to make some of these dishtowels for our new house...in my spare time.



these are so simple and cute
 

Poppy Cat Sews is doing well; however, I am struggling to figure out how to successfully juggle all the responsibilities.  Do I fill orders and let my house go to shambles (which drives me crazy)?  I love to design and sew but my heart also desires to paint.  And, how do I manage family and continue with the unbelievably high mothering standard to which they are accustomed (sarcasm)?  It's all a conundrum for me. 

A collection of crossbody bags.

I have one statement that is on my mind... pray without ceasing.  I may not have figured out how to manage my time in the way that I want or with the discipline that is needed but I am thrilled that I am overflowing with the gift of creativity.  I've held it at bay for 20 years and I know I am moving towards living the life God called me to live at this place in time... even if it is a bit chaotic, unbalanced, and messy (just like this blog post).

My husband makes the coffee!

I hear this frequently from my fellow coffee drinking military wife friends... my husband makes the coffee.  Gene makes the coffee in my house.  Sometimes I feel guilty because I will stay in bed yelling out "Is the coffee ready yet?!?!"  I mean, why get up if the coffee isn't ready?

I think there are two main reasons why Gene makes the coffee... he gets up first.  I love, love, love the time I have alone in the bed right after he gets up.  It is warm and cozy and I normally scoot over to his spot.  For some reason, it just feels better.  There is also this reason... I make a pretty crappy pot of coffee.  I just can't get it right.  It is always too weak or way too strong.  (and I mean glug-glug slide out of the coffee maker like slime strong) Gene makes strong coffee but over the years I have learned to enjoy his cup of joe... with lots of creamer.

Gene travels a lot for his job.  When he travels he will usually make a pot of coffee (or if he has to leave super early, I have to make my own pot of coffee - YIKES!) and I drink from that pot until he comes home.  When he was deployed I would frequently make a huge strong pot of coffee on Monday and microwave a cup everyday until it ran out.  After day five you really only need half a cup because some type of molecular change has occurred and that stuff is straight caffeine.  During the last deployment I would stop by my friend's house after I dropped off the girls at school and drink her coffee (some mornings I still had on my pajamas).  I wonder if she ever pretended not to be home?

So now I have to issue a formal apology to Gene.  Here it goes: "Gene I am sorry for scoffing, belittling, and doubting your purchase of the odd little one cup old fashioned coffee maker ceramic mug thingy."  This thing is great!  While Gene is living it up on work trips I can now enjoy a fresh cup of coffee every single morning.  Thanks Geno!!

I am an artist!

Do you see how you demean yourself? That is why it's dangerous to deny your Artist self. God has made you unique, He has put that creator element of Himself in you, and you refuse to acknowledge it. He may have caused that opportunity to go to that art retreat to open itself up to you, purely for your own joy. But you refuse to embrace the gift that it is because you can't acknowledge that you are already an artist and have been since the day you were born.

So please, think about this. And next time you feel the urge to claim not to be an artist-Don't. If you don't know what kind of artist you are, because you do a little of everything, say you're a mixed media artist. But if you say you're not an artist, you'll believe it. We listen to what we tell ourselves, as do others. So say it to yourself, if no one else. "I am an artist." And believe it- You are.

This was from a recent post on from birdfromawire.com.

If you had asked me when I was three years old what I wanted to be when I grow up I would have said "an artist".  My Aunt Joan, who is a watercolor painter, saw a gift in me when I was three.  She would take me out  to the countryside and we would paint together.  My Mom let me paint murals on my bedroom walls - starting when I was a preschooler.  I didn't question that dream or falter in my statement.  If you had asked me when I was twelve years old what I wanted to be when I grew up I would have answered again "an artist."  If you had asked me when I was in high-school what I wanted to be I would have said "an artist."  In my first year of college, while I was taking fine art classes, if you would have asked me what I want to be I would have wavered a bit and said "an artist, I think." 

It was the "I think" part that got me derailed.  There wasn't anything monumental that occurred that made me question my heart's desire.  I had encouragement from art teachers my entire life.  I had pieces of art entered in competitions and on display in universities when I was in high-school.  I had experienced nothing but success.  Even in college my professors would choose my art pieces for display.  So I wonder, how did I turn away from my inner voice?

Now that I am starting to realize that dream, I can look back and review.  There were so many moments, just like everyone else, where bits of me were damaged.  Without the whole of me, I started to bend and falter.  I didn't stand tall.  There were times when I needed protection.  I believe with my soul that is why I chose Gene.  He is a protector.  He has amazing types of inner strength that I lack and respect.  Don't get me wrong... I am strong.

Maybe God knew I wasn't ready for the failure, which I fear, that comes along with being an artist.  I struggle if my work is critiqued. I needed more wisdom and confidence that comes with age.  I needed more life experiences.  I needed faith and hope.  God knew these things.

I also didn't have a clue on how to live as an artist.  How to exist and put yourself out there.  I felt a bit that being an artist was selfish.  I had another Aunt who once told me, when I was about eight, that I was selfish and lazy.  Now that I am older I realize that she had heartaches beyond belief and that if I had been older and wiser I would have known to not take her judgement to heart. 

I also have the need to give back but didn't know how.  It is something that we all have.  That is how social work became my career.  I wanted to help people and give back to the community.  Now that I am a stay at home Mom I find a lot of my worth in giving back to my family.  It is one of the ways I show them that I love them.

So, where is all of this rambling leading to?  I am finding my inner artist again.  That three year old who doesn't falter.  The eight year old who doesn't waver.  The high-school girl who is hurting but has a dream.  I am setting goals.  I am putting myself, through the art I create, out there.  I may even make a paycheck, tiny as it may be.    I am an artist (with a little bit of anxiety).

Frogtober Fest - Fun times at Ft. Leonard Wood.

 You gotta love small town ingenuity.  There is a rock outcropping on the way to downtown Waynesville that is painted like a frog.  There are even frog crossing signs on the highway.  I can only imagine that The Waynesville Frogtober Fest was a "spawn" of the frog rock.  It was a couple of hours well spent enjoying the fall weather, the collection of local booths of odds and ends crafts, and the food stands. 

Gigi loves frog legs.  Gross, I know.  You can see the excitement on her face when she ordered her plate of frog legs.  I heard someone say they taste like a cross between fish and chicken.  I'll take her word for it.

I had to sneak this picture.  I adore this guy for sporting his farmer bibs and feathers.

Gene and I shared a smoked turkey leg.  It was yummy.  Not to worry, I didn't man handle it like Gene.  I picked at it like the dainty lady that I am.

Gigi and her "really Mom, another picture" look.  Beautiful

You don't see a cat walking through a fair on a leash everyday, do ya'?

Here is that same kitty greeting the "Are You My Mama?" Lama.  The cat owner told her cat to sit and stay.  Wow!  I over heard her telling someone that she was told as a joke that she couldn't train her cat to walk on a leash.  She said that six months later she had six or seven cats walking on leashes.  Her secret was "put a leash on a cat and walk in whatever direction it wants to go."  Genius!

Greta is lovin' the day.

Amazing!  A picture of me.  Gosh, I love those two kids.

This pic is for my friend Jamie.  She and one of her girls love owls.  These would be so easy to make.  I wish I could walk next door and make some with her.

The bedroom dilema - to decorate or not to decorate

About once a year I scheme about how I am finally going to decorate  our bedroom.  Gene and I have been married for 18 years and the bedroom is still a miss match collection of stuff.  Oh sure, I get an inspiration and window shop like crazy for a while but I never settle on anything.  We do have a Steve Hanks watercolor print, which I love, that Gene gave me many moons ago. I pull colors from it when I get the itch to re-decorate. 

I think the bedspread is the cornerstone of the bedroom foundation.  I just can't decide what works for both of us.    I am drawn to the white fluffy "clouds", that is what we call our down comforter, and the light blues and greens from our Steve Hanks picture.  I especially love a large geometric floral print.  Gene likes the dark rich colors.  When I think of a bedroom, I think of rest and relaxation and Gene thinks... well, uhhmm how to I say it, of other things. 

I know part of my issue is that I am thrifty.  I only want natural fibers on a polyester budget.  Then I run across pictures like these on a blog (I would totally give the blog credit if I could remember the name)and the desire begins again and then I give up.  So we have the same old down comforter and light green fuzzy blanket, which probably came from Wally World, that we have had for a couple of years. It is comfortable and warm and works for now. 

Birdhouses and Kittens

I have been plagued with this personal issue for years... about 15 years to be exact. That is when I became a Big Girl. Growing up I always struggled with and managed to avoid the Big Girl status and was just a little bigger than most of my friends. My first move with the Army and the stress of working full time and going to graduate school ended that fight.



Now I am a beautiful, creative, and funny Big Girl (who feels little a lot of the time - but not physically). Oh ya' I also want to set the record straight that I am also a hard worker and clean. Larger folks often get the stereo type that we are lazy and stinky. I admit... on occasion I do stay in my pj's and don't shower for a day but I promise that I don't even go to Casey's to get a Diet Coke. I stay home with the curtains closed just like I should.



I am not on a rant about how the world should change to fit me. I'm not complaining about how small airplane seats are... in fact I would love to be small enough to fit comfortably in an airplane seat or not spill over onto Gene's folding chair at church. He thinks I just want to be close to him but the truth is that those darn chairs are too small and I would rather snuggle with him than with the total stranger beside me.



What is this post about? (you might be asking this question if you actually made it this far) It is about clothing. Clothing that is either BRIGHT obscene colors or has some sort of cute baby animal on the front. Oh wait, I almost forgot about the fact (I could probably prove it in court) that a lot of Big Girl clothes showcase a delightful Looney Tunes character as the latest and most current style. For some reason I occasionally get a Victoria Secrets catalog in the mail... how in the H.E. double hockey sticks did I get on their mailer? Maybe that is a question I should save for Gene.



Anyhoo - Fossil was kind enough to send me one of their catalogs. I poured over the styles. It is that beautiful vintage, classy, grunge look. I loved them all... until... I noticed that NOTHING came even close to my size. Hold on, that is a lie. The handbags and scarves would probably fit. My neighbor gets this clothing catalog called Downeast that has lovely clothes in it. I normally lift if from her house and hide it in my sewing room. I can sew. So, I try to alter some of my clothes or mimic the styles. What about my Big Girl sisters out there who can't sew? Where do they get cool clothes? I am telling you, there is a gigantic market out there that hasn't been tapped. How about Lane Bryant open up a creative vintage grungy sister store? It could be called Back Alley Bryant .



I am going to express my personal angst of not having access to cool clothes on my next art journal page. But this is what I want to say... Big Girls Do Cry!!!... and we are crying out for some cool clothes!